Merry Christmas

May you find peace amidst the chaos, love within your four walls and joy within your heart.  

Wishing each and every one of you a beautiful Christmas surrounded by those who mean the most.

A New Job = Helping Others

I'm sitting here in my Lubbock, TX hotel room typing this after a long day training at my new job.  I will have spent a good portion of this week and last here, away from home, learning the ropes of a new office in a part of the healthcare field that I am not all that familiar with.  I'm anxious to learn all I can about hearing loss and helping those who suffer from hearing loss.  I have always had a desire to help others and this job enables me to do just that.  Happy to be back in the healthcare field and back at work.  Excited to open a brand new sparkly office with my clinician and to help others live a better quality of life.  Our motto at Livingston Audiology and Hearing Aid Centers is "EVERYTHING MATTERS" and ironically it's so very true.  Every little thing does matter. 

This crazy new beginning happened even though I wasn't expecting it.  So many other things have been going on, and some are so truly amazing while others have been quite serious and even downright scary, that have kept us hopping with no time to think about anything else.   These are the things that have kept me away from lots of things I love to do and also from being crafty which does not make me a happy girl.  Hoping to get into a routine that will enable play time, time to workout and I hope to have things under control as soon as possible although my family's schedules are pretty nutty so we will see how that works out.

I am looking forward to the holidays that are ahead of us and the fall weather has started to make an appearance.  It's my favorite time of the year and also my family's so I hope that things can calm down so that we can truly enjoy our time as a family as those moments are so fleeting. 

Here's to a new adventure and a new beginning!

Summertime Memories

You must take several minutes out of your day to watch this video from Kinfolk Magazine.  You won't be disappointed in the loss of those moments, I promise.

Tell me though, while you were watching it were you taken back to your childhood?  To the lazy days of summer and the simpler times?  To the beauty of nature and glorious pleasures we celebrated as we were growing up?  Missing the freedom and the slower pace of life as it was then?

I long for those days ~ I really and truly deeply miss how life once was.  I somehow feel like those moments are etched in my mind so deep but yet I find I forget that they are there.  It seems that life and all the hub-bub tends to monopolize all the space in my brain and I don't always go back to that place....the place where the living was easy and the pleasures were bountiful and more often than not free.

Recently I made a last minute road trip back home.  I realized my dad's 65th birthday was coming up as well as my mom's 64th so since I had missed the big party thrown for my dad's 60th, which was the same year as my 20th class reunion (which I also missed) as well as the year I remarried, I decided that since I was unemployed I would make the trip to surprise both of my parents.  I made the journey alone and had a week to prepare myself as well as the family for my absence.  Preparing to be gone is so much work that most of the time I dread even knowing I am leaving.  The music was loaded up on my iPod, my old iPhone as well as my current iPhone because if you have done any amount of traveling by car you know that if you do not have satellite radio (which we did but no longer do) dealing with terrestrial radio is annoying.  In the end having enough music was definitely not an issue and I think during the entire trip there were only two or three songs I heard more than once.  I brought my own food and drink with me so that I could eat on the 'go' and only stop when I needed gas or to use the glorious restrooms along the way.  I figured doing that would cut off some time and I think it probably did although I made up for the time by having to spend probably an hour each way dealing with road construction and being at a standstill literally in the middle of nowhere on a two-lane road for some of it.  I realized about an hour from home I had forgotten my DSLR which was probably the biggest bummer of the entire trip.  

I spent 14+ hours on the road until I pulled into my mom's place.  Her husband knew I was coming but it was a surprise for her.  When I walked in she had no idea I was even standing there.  I probably stood there for at least 60 seconds until she realized that there was someone in the house with her and her reaction when she noticed someone was there was priceless.  All she could see was a silhouette of someone standing there so she had to actually get up and walk up to me to find out it was me!

I spent about 36 hours at her place and then took off to spend some time with some other friends for a day before heading home to surprise my dad.  While I was hanging out with my friend sitting at Starbucks my step-mom calls.  In the part of the conversation where she tells me she had just gotten done talking to everyone to invite them over to celebrate my dad's birthday she says how much she wishes my sister and I were closer so that we could be there as well.  What she didn't know was that I was less than an hour away and would be there to surprise her as well in less than six hours!  So perfect this trip was progressing I even surprised myself!  So after spending the day with my best friend ever in the whole entire world I headed home.  I had not been to my dad's new home so I had to find it and once I did I pulled into the driveway but saw no cars and was thinking they must be parked in the garage.  I was hoping no one would see me out the window because I could not get a true reaction if that was the case.  I went to the door and rang the doorbell several times but no one answered.  I finally decided to check the door to see if it was locked and it was open so I let myself in.  As I did that the door on the other side of the house opened up and my step-mom came in from the back deck.  She looked at me a moment and had only a silhouette to go by (same thing as my mom since it was dark in the room and the light was behind me) and when she realized it was me she ran to me and hugged me and started crying.  She squeezed me so tight!  Then she took off out the door to go find Taryn only to find out I was alone.  Just about then I ask her where my dad is and she tells me he just left for the chiropractor and to go down and surprise him so that's where I headed.  I am again concerned that he will be sitting there and see me out the window but when I got there I wasn't even sure if he was there since I didn't recognize the truck.  I went in and found that once again I was safe and that he was already in a room having treatment.  I went to the back and assisted the chiropractor in removing the hot packs and playing a bit of a chiropractic assistant!  Don't worry...that's old hat as I used to work in a chiropractic office.  So as I am talking to him and finding out about what is bothering him I tell him that maybe his aches and pains are because he's getting old and about then I could tell he wasn't amused anymore.  He still hadn't recognized it was me so this was going awesome!  Anyway, the doctor had him turn over on side and just as he did he realized it was me.  The look on his face was priceless!

And oh my gravy was that trip priceless goodness.  It was good for my soul and it went off without a hitch.  I don't think I could have planned for the surprises to work out any better than they did.  I got to see my family who I have not seen in years, more years than should truly be acceptable and I got to see friends that I also had not seen in years and years.  And I got to see my dad's new home which is absolutely beautiful.  It was by all accounts blissful.

As I was making the trip and listening to all that music I brought along to keep me company I was taking in all the beauty of the countryside.  I had flashbacks of things I had forgotten about.  Living  in a concrete jungle can definitely lead to forgetting what is out there, especially if you grew up somewhere much smaller like I did, where the town is small (population roughly 6000), where everyone knows everyone including their business (which isn't exactly a perk) and where it takes about two minutes to drive to any edge of town where you find nothing but fields and countryside.  The things that I had forgotten were the beauty of wheat blowing in the wind, the flowing fields that look like patchwork quilts, the country roads that are gravel and the smell of the country complete with the infused cow manure scent wafting through the air as well as the smell of freshly cut grass on the farm.  The sight of silos and the beautiful red barns living here is a rarity because we do not often escape the city.  It was so quiet there I had actually forgotten what that was like and was realizing I was a bit lost without the noise I am so used to living with in the city.  I'm not saying that's a good thing ~ it's just something that I guess I've gotten used to over the 22 years since I left home.  In fact, that 22 year mark literally just passed by the other day and was something I forgot to consciously acknowledge.  And it's official, I've been away from home now more than half my life.  I did find myself calling Texas home several times throughout the trip and actually hearing it was a little surreal.  I found it odd because each time I would say it I felt like I was offending my true home, the place where I grew up but I don't truly have a home there anymore since my parents are divorced and they both live in a different home than where I grew up.  I still feel like I'm a little girl and I guess that security I felt is something I have never wanted to part with, knowing that without a doubt I always had somewhere to go.  I guess it's like being a little girl knowing she can go home to her parents.  I guess my roots are there but my home is here, where my children are.  I know how silly that sounds but sometimes it's hard to wrap my head around it and even though I might be an adult and even though I know how life has changed and how things are......I still just want to go back and be that little girl who lived that carefree life amidst all those wonderful memories that are safely tucked away to be pulled out one by one and not have a care in the world.

A Creatively Made Home

I cannot let this opportunity pass by without giving it a mention.  Seriously, a class put together by the great Jeanne Oliver about a Creatively Made Home?  Ummm...yes, I do think so!!  I'm a little embarrassed to admit to this but I've been visiting Jeane's blog, looking at the course, the pictures of the adorable hosts and the great pics of their creatively made homes...heck, I've even stalked all their blogs.  (hanging head in shame)  I won't tell a lie, I've also been gazing at Jeanne's new LookBook.  Divine I say, simply divine!  Anyway, I've pondered the money it would take away from the family budget, since I am still unemployed after losing my job two weeks before I had my knee surgery back in March, and haven't gotten up the courage to ask TheHusband if he would mind if I splurged on myself. I realize food on our table for our children is a much more important need right now and oh my word do those kids eat a lot of food.  Oh the horrors of being unemployed.  On the one hand it's a delight to be here and be the Domestic Goddess I always wanted to be but on the other hand it's also a real drag to not be able to have the extra money to do some of the things I want to do.  Props to TheHusband for all he does for this family and thank goodness for unemployment benefits. cough*cough (sorry about that...the benefits, oh the benefits-just thankful to have something)

Anyway, my sweet friend Victoria of the blog Whimsy by Victoria has a giveaway going on right now at this very moment, and is giving away three, yes, I did say three.  3.  count them~THREE....1,2,3 spots for the five week e-course.  Such a generous gift and a great opportunity to take what I think will be a fabulous class to transform the homes of all who take the class become a Creatively Made Home!

Now, what are you waiting for....get on over there and sign up!  What have you got to lose?

MIA

**disclaimer

So I've been a little MIA for quite sometime now.  In fact, I've been so out of the loop that Blogger has actually changed again.  I was just getting used to the last changes and now I've got to completely figure this out again.  Nice. 

So I think I mentioned a while ago, somewhere back eons ago (yep, I totally did, that post right. down. there. that was months ago) that I just really wasn't feeling myself.

So as this time was passing no blog posts were being posted.  Here and there I would set up posts in my head, totally blowing it out of the water thinking it could possibly be an award winning post covering world hunger and global unity but it never happened.  There they were in my head being produced but I never put fingers to the keys.  I realize that most of you probably do not care about what I have to say (and I probably don't even know most of you) but you may be here reading this, sooooo....all's I can say is lucky you!  Anyway, tonight I did just that, concocted that superior blog post in my head.  All official and clever and just, really bare myself, for everyone to see but of course I don't remember a thing I was going to say now that I'm typing away.  Typical. 

And somehow I do this so much better in my head like I could be addressing heads of states or something, or so it seems.  Maybe I should put that little recorder that I purchased for "other" things to use and record what I am thinking so I can transcribe it into a post.  How ironic that would be, huh?! 

Approximately February of 2011 something happened to me that threw me off my course.  I never really could put my finger on it but I knew I felt different. Heck, I was different.  I'm still not feeling like me.  Like all of a sudden I changed over night and somehow I wasn't even thinking how I had thought the previous day before.  Okay, it may have not been that drastic with how I was thinking but I'm serious, some switch flipped.  Not in a bad way or anything like I wasn't going to go off on the next person who wronged me on the road or in the market or anything but something just changed in me and I couldn't figure out what was happening.  I mean, here's an example.  I used to be so excited about certain things (I will not list these things as I do not intend to make anyone feel bad and please get your mind out of the gutter because this has absolutely nothing to do with gutters) and all of a sudden I really didn't care if I did these things or not and when I did do them they did not fulfill me as they once had.  In fact, my entire demeanor was different when I did do those certain things compared to previously.  And it wasn't all things, it was only certain things ~ things that actually had defined who I was as a person previous to this switch flipping.  I struggled to try to figure out why and days where I felt like maybe, just maybe I was getting back to my old self were merely hours where I was somehow tricked into thinking that maybe I was reemerging as the old me.  I tend to think it was a good thing that there was still sparkle in there somewhere, that I knew wanted out.  So one day as I was talking to the Mister about it he mentioned that he had noticed the change too and he suggested something I had not thought of.

No, I'm not nuts!  And no, I am so not bipolar.  Truth.

He summed it up by saying that he felt that my spirit had been crushed.  Wow.  Did the heavens just open up and did I hear the angels sing?

You know, I almost felt like that was the closest explanation as I could possibly come up with.  When he suggested that I actually felt better because I honestly felt like he may have hit the nail on the head.  It made sense and it was actually something that I felt happened to me.  Like really happened as I could pinpoint certain things or incidents that just really beat me down.  Finally that straw that broke the camels back, I guess.  And at the moment of the change that I felt the biggest thing going on in my life was that I had just recently changed jobs and was completely miserable about how things were going at this supposed "wonderful" company. And the things I saw and the wonderful things I put up with AGAIN.  You know, bullying isn't only a sport for the youngsters....it happens all the time to people of all ages.

It's only been a couple weeks since he mentioned this to me.  I've been really trying to figure out how to fix this but unfortunately I keep running into walls and road blocks that keep me from living the life I had intended to live.  So much has happened.  So many things have beat me down.  And just the other day I got another dose of "kick me in the balls".  I'm thinking that eating stress for breakfast is the least of my worries anymore as there seem to be bigger fish to fry.  Good thing I've come to like fish.

Moral of the story:

And I'll continue to smile and tell everyone I'm okay when really I'm just beat up, battered and bruised.  I'll be looking for that rainbow I've been in search of for so long.  Truth be told, I ALWAYS get back up after I've been knocked down.

**This is not intended to sound like a "oh woe is me pity party" but is merely a way for me to acknowledge how my world is revolving.  I'm ready to get back to my regularly scheduled programming!

off my game

I've been off my game for quite a while now.  Not sure what the culprit is.  I've been searching to find out exactly what is going on but have only been led to dead ends.  I feel like I'm living an out of body experience.  I really wish I felt like me.  Sometimes I actually feel like I'm back on my game only to have the rug pulled out from underneath me and I find I'm back right where I started.

A lot of changes. 
A lot of busyness. 
Lots of choices and decisions to be made. 
But in the midst of it all I've still got my sweet family.  My kids seriously are a never ending source of giggles and fun times and the mister...well, he's here when he can be.  We try to do what we can when he's off.  We spend time doing silly little things most people would probably think is pointless and mundane but what matters is that we are together and we are having fun.  And at this point it's truly the little things that count. 

So much inspiration flowing all over the internet.  One of my fav designers, Rhonna Farrer, was on her local afternoon show in Utah yesterday Fresh Living.  Follow this link to her segment.  (Currently it's not working but hopefully it will be back up soon!)  She dishes on some really great Valentine's Day ideas that are not only easy but they are very affordable.  If you go to her blog here you can get the direct link to download a free printable for Valentine's Day.  You must open an account over on her digital design store Rhonna Designs but it's so worth it!  And if you are so inclined, check out her store with all her digital goodness and be prepared to be wowed!

Pinterest is abuzz with many ideas that are dedicated to Valentine's Day but also to everything yummy!  Lots of goodness here on my Valentine's Pinterest board! 

(image found here)

I thought this was a great idea from The House that Lars Built.  You send a "heart attack" to your intended recipient.  A box full of different sized hearts in all different colors of paper.  What a fun little unexpected box of love they will open!  In fact, if you have time, check out the blog...lots of great inspiration abounds plus there are several other "heart attack" Valentine's Day ideas to check out!

Merry Christmas

 
via here

I couldn't let the end of the year go by without at least jumping on and wishing everyone a very Merry Christmas.  2011 has been a really crazy ride and I do hope that with the new year just around the corner things will be a little bit more laid back.  Actually, who am I kidding?  Really, just when I think things will settle down something else jumps out in front of me and kicks me in the teeth so I'm sort of used to the pace and the lifestyle...just trying to find my center.

A little recap of the past few months:
September found the hubby and I traveling to Hot Springs, AR for a little R&R as we spent our anniversary in a quaint B&B called the 1890 Williams House.  It was truly divine.  Heck, we loved it so much we ended up staying an extra day.  We sampled all sorts of yummy food and spent time on the porches of the house.  We were within walking distance to downtown and even had an afternoon at the spa.  We had dinner at the Fisherman's Wharf on the lake.  We took a duck tour which was the first thing we did when we arrived and it was so much fun and really informative.  We even brought back spring water and the taste of it is definitely one you can taste.  The springs coming out of the ground are really, really hot.  We went to the Hot Springs Mountain Tower and checked out what we could see for miles.  Absolutely gorgeous green trees for miles and miles.  We had a wonderful trip and would love to go back soon.

Our son also started college in September and so begins another chapter in our lives.

In October I ran the Santa Fe 5k in 32:49.  Definitely ran it below what I set out to run it in.  I was so proud of myself.

We also had four Halloween parties to attend in October.  It was quite a busy month with those on the calendar.  I can honestly say by the end of the party line I was totally sick of my costume.

November wasn't overly exciting.  Thanksgiving was quiet, as it always is.  I ended up seeing an orthopaedic doctor for my leg at the end of the month and was diagnosed with hamstring and Achilles' tendonitis as well as an Achilles' strain.  I'm currently nursing my leg and haven't ran since November 18th which is totally irritating to me, especially because I had upped my mileage and my time had gotten much better.  Nothing like having to start from scratch when I can finally run again.  I've also been really lazy and haven't drug myself to the gym and I SO need to go.  I can really tell I haven't done anything at all and it's starting to bug me big time.  I would be doing my Jillian DVDs but I can't really do anything that is high impact and that pretty much excludes every single DVD I own so it's either ride my bike or go for a walk or go to the gym and ride the stationary bike, walk on the treadmill or do the elliptical.  Choices, choices.  I'm also so much more mindful of the food I put in my mouth when I'm working out as opposed to when I'm not.  I need to get better about that.

December has also been a bit uneventful.  I lost a friend last week.  I was unable to make it home to the funeral which saddened me but sometimes things cannot be helped and this was one of those cases.  Mother Nature isn't very nice when winter rolls round and going alone driving in winter weather isn't exactly the smartest choice so I opted to stay home where I was safe. There are a few other things on the burner at the moment but those are to be kept quiet for now.  Don't want to jinx anything anymore than I may have already done so I'm just going to continue to keep my fingers and toes crossed and see what happens.

Christmas is less than two days away.  I wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. Hold your loved ones close, cherish each and every moment you have with them and don't forget to tell people how you really feel about them.  We have but only moments....don't waste them.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!