One Little Word

This is the second year I have chosen a word.  Last year my word was reach.  Ali Edwards started doing this several years ago, though I am unsure how long ago (I have been following along on her blog for years now), fashioning her version of the One Little Word for an entire year after the site called One Little Word that is no longer active.  You may continue to access the archives and I must tell you that they are inspiring.  So after thinking long and hard last year about what my word would be and how I really wanted to focus on changing things~I chose the word reach.  I chose this word because there were many things I was trying to figure out (and I'm not sure I actually figured them all out) and questions I couldn't answer and my focus was to try to make my life what I wanted it to be, being able to have the ability to reach for what I thought was right no matter how hard, getting rid of toxic people in my life and not feeling guilty about it and just generally making more time for myself to do what I love while not affecting my every day life (read: work).  I did actually succeed on some aspects but I also failed a bit as well.

I'm told not to use the word fail because it brings in negativity.  I am not sure if "not succeeding" or "not getting there" are any better choices of words but I will try to keep the positive flow going and see if I can't toss that word away, along with the other things that tend to fall off my tongue on occasion and recently there have been a lot of things coming out my mouth that need not be spoken.

My word for 2010 is believe.  I chose this word because at this point I do need something to believe in.  You know, sort of like this song:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G5uamDMoW4o

(embedding feature disabled so click and check it out.....so timely in the state of our world now)

I've inserted the words.......just reading them hits homes.

Something to Believe In

by Poison 1990

Well I see him on the TV

Preachin' bout the promise land

He tells me to believe in Jesus

And steals the money from my hand

Some say he was a good man

But Lord I think he sinned, yeah

Twenty-two years of mental tears

Cries a suicidal Vietnam vet

Who fought a losing war on a foreign shore

To find his country didn't want him back

Their bullets took his best friend in Saigon

Our lawyers took his wife, his kids, no regrets

In a time I don't remember

In a war he can't forget

He cries "Forgive me for what I've done there

Cause I never meant the things I did"

Chorus:

And give me something to believe in

If there's a Lord above

And give me something to believe in

Oh, Lord arise

Our best friend died a lonely man

In some Palm Springs hotel room

I got the call last Christmas Eve

And they told me the news

I tried all night not to break down and cry

As the tears rolled down my face

I felt so cold and empty

Like a lost soul out of place

And the mirror, mirror on the wall

Sees my smile it fades again

Chorus

Sometimes I wish to God I didn't know now

The things I didn't know then

Road you gotta take me home

I drive by the homeless sleepin' on a cold dark street

Like bodies in and open grave

Underneath the broken old neon sign

That used to read JESUS SAVES

A mile away live the rick folk

And I see how they're living it up

While the poor they eat from hand to mouth

The rich is drinkin' from a golden cup

And it just makes me wonder

Why so many lose, so few win

Chorus

You take the high road

And I'll take the low road

Sometime I wish I didn't know now

The things I didn't know then

And give me something to believe in

Seriously....I guess if you count health I, for the most part, have it all.  But......and there is always a but,

 here it is 2010 and I need to believe many things:

That I am a good person.

That I deserve good things to happen to me.

That I am in charge of me.

That I am a great mom (oh yes, I definitely am, have you met my kids?) and believe it true.

That I am a good wife, sister, daughter, friend.

To my friends that I am the type of friend I would like to have.

That I do have the time to give to myself for working out, running and my art.

That things will get better. (My work schedule will be getting a face lift over the next week and I am so excited and yet scared all at the same time.  I will have to again figure out how to adjust my schedule.  The last 15 months have been complete HELL!)

That I have a purpose.

That all the things that have happened are due to my choices, that it is okay and that I did my best, the very best I could and what I felt was right deep down in my very core.  (If I had done anything different, any one little thing at all, I would not be where I am today and I would not have the children I have and the thought of not having them is so completely incomprehensible.)

That this little phrase "life is a sum of all your choices" does not continue to stand in my way. 

That 2010 will be the best year yet.

So far I've added in creativity exercises to my daily routine and I'm about to get the ball rolling on getting my working out back on track (thank you work schedule).  These are only a couple things but such big things at the same time.  I will be adding in my yoga classes (thank you Groupon ~ I love you) as soon as I can get a handle on my schedule since I want to put my all into it for the 10 straight days and then the extra 4 classes after that and maybe a little side trip to visit my sister very soon.  inspired.10 is coming up and a well deserved trip with the hubby to Vegas later in the year as well.  I am getting to work on my vision board and my Simply Amazing journal (which I will design with my own take on it) and diving into the book 5.  And on this little journey the husband is going to tag along.....time for him to make some big changes this year as well.  We are going to rock 2010.