Monday, June 02, 2008

No flip-flops at Wal-Mart, ever again

Okay, so I had me an experience today at Wal-Mart I will not soon forget. I had these beautiful flip-flops on that matched my outfit so wonderfully I thought that they were made just for that very reason. Anyway, as I am walking around the store I start to hear a slap, slap, slap every time my left foot hits the floor. I looked down and was unable to see anything wrong so I continued on my very quick journey (which is how I like Wal-Mart - quick) through the store gathering those few items on my list. And as I am walking I still hear slap, slap, slap......and I stop and look down again at my foot and notice as I am about to put my foot down on the floor the front of my foam sole from my flip-flop is smacking the floor. I realize my shoe is coming apart but I'm determined to get out of the store before it completely falls apart. So I trek on to load up the last couple items in my arms and head for the registers trying to drag my foot as much as possible but still have the ability to walk so I don't take the shoe out of commission since I had already been tripped by this shoe issue several times. As I set my items down on the belt the checker kindly asks me if I found everything I needed and me, knowing how much I hate this place, says no because I came there for the very specific hair glue needed by the man of the house and if there are tubes of it to be had, then I darn well had better leave this store with them so I don't have to come back anytime soon. So she rounds up someone to help me and I get shoved to the side to wait for the lady to return. When she returns she tells me there are 12 more in the stockroom, she'll send someone to get them so I can have two for myself and not have to return for a while. So again I wait, and wait, and wait some more. Tanner sends me a text message wanting to know where I was and then why I was waiting so I answer. I'm still waiting. Finally the cashier apologizes to me because I look like an idiot standing there reading the gossip mags waiting for some product they obviously cannot find so I tell her I'll run back and see if they have returned with said hair glue. As I'm walking my flip-flop continues to slap and I'm just praying the product will be there and I can get the heck out of there and toss these shoes in the trash and just when I'm thinking I'm in the clear I take a step and immediately find out that there is a definite difference in altitude and I take a look behind me and see my foam heel to the flip-flop laying there in the middle of the Wally World floor. So I quickly grab the defective heel and shove it into my bag so no one notices and then I continue walking with a noticeable limp hoping that no one will notice that I have shoe issues. I make it over to the aisle where the glue is supposed to be located and there was no one there so I head back to the register I was standing at previously continuing to peruse all the gossip mags while I wait for the lady to return. At this point I just want to high tail it home, knowing that anyone who has noticed my faulty shoe thinks I must be in my element. The lady finally returns and tells me she could not find the product but that she has only been working there since Wednesday and that she can read and she did read all the boxes but did not find the box with the product I requested in the stock room and to return tomorrow when the manager of that department is back on duty. I left with one broken pair of flip-flops that I quickly tossed in the trash when I got home and no hair glue. Guess where I will be visiting tomorrow?

I know, looks like the joke's on me!

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