life's an hourglass

".....see the sand in my grasp
from the first to the last
every grain becomes a memory of the past
oh, life is an hourglass"  ~mindy gledhill  *anchor*

I realize it doesn't seem like it should be such a big deal but when you have had something that has stood by you for so many years and the time comes to say goodbye it's a bit heartbreaking.

This 1995 Nissan Altima SE has been by my side since the day I laid the cash down for it back in April of 1998.  I wasn't even considering a 4-door car when I saw her that spring day in April at Carmax.  She looked at me from the showroom floor and I fell in love.  She may have had 4 doors but the fact that she had a spoiler, a sunroof and she was a standard meant I would still be driving a cool car and not a family car.  I never liked the look of family cars or vans. Never wanted to drive a "bus" as I call them.  And I dealt with a 2-door car for many years getting the kids in/out of their car seats in the back seat without the accessibility a 4-door would give me and it never once bothered me.  I know, I'm a little on the cuckoo side.  If it looks cool I'll sacrifice.  I'm still like that today and my next car will mimic those very details. Thing is I never thought I would be so sad watching the new owner drive away in the Altima but that's when it hit me.  I will be honest...I did shed some tears.  Something about all the memories, good and bad, each and every one quickly replaying in my head.  Eric was so sweet telling me it wasn't silly that I was so sad and my friend Diane also told me I wasn't crazy.  It seems dumb, I know.

I've grown my kids with that car.  Not literally but you know what I mean....it's been there throughout almost all of their entire short lives.  It's been with me through thick and thin.  It's gone across the country and back more times than I can count.  Eric drove it back and forth to work when he worked in downtown Ft. Worth for several years.  I taught my son to drive in this car and then for his 16th birthday it was given to him as his first car.  It was a veritable rock in my world for so many years but today I said goodbye.  I watched it drive away and my heart broke into a million pieces as another chapter of my life closes.

It's quite unheard of these days that anyone keeps a car for that long and I had her for 12 1/2 years...almost exactly to the day.  It was a great car and she rarely let us down.  She was in awesome condition for being so old and she was just a few hundred miles from turning over 200,000 miles.  Don't be surprised when I say this but I think I would have had to celebrate.  (yes, I would totally do something silly like that because I do crazy things.  life is about being spontaneous and crazy so celebrating something like that seems only right.) Recently she has been costing us more and more in the repair bill department so the boys are happy she's gone.  Not so sure my mechanic will feel the same way....that was his bread and butter!

But for me, I know it's just a car but it's a car with so many memories.